School, Dentist, Wheelchair

Vitals:  Day 4 to 12 in the states.  Ruslan visits the school, the dentist, and gets a wheelchair.    The difference between how the two countries handle disability is NIGHT and DAY.

Details:  So, we’ve been back for almost two weeks.  I meant to write more often, but the time just got away from me.  I noticed that a lot of bloggers almost stop posting altogether once they get home.  I thought it was because they had nothing to write, but now I think it is because there’s just so much more going on in the states, there’s no time.

First:  The school.  I just can NOT get over the stark difference between America and Ukraine (and the majority of the rest of the world) and  how we handle disabilities.  OH MY GOODNESS.  I took Ruslan to school last week just to get him acquainted with the building (and also to see Reilly and Sharon since he freaked out when they got on the bus and rode away on Monday morning.  I thought his little heart was about to break.  So I dressed him up and we went to school so I could show him they were both still alive and safe and would be home soon.  I parked him outside Reilly’s room and when he saw her, he screamed, “REILLY!”  I think the whole fourth grade hall heard it.  Once that hurdle was cleared, we saw the principal.)

There was a major problem with the school that I wanted to resolve right away.  I sent the administration an e-mail when we were in Ukraine letting them know that Ruslan was coming their way.   I had some idea that disabled kids were a lot of work thanks to the American’s With Disabilities Act, so I thought it was fair to give them some warning.  Anyway, one of the administrators wrote back that they wanted to put him in first or second grade, since he is seven.  Well,  that was a horrible idea.  I whipped off a  bunch of frantic e-mails explaining why he needs to be in kindergarten (no life experiences, no formal or informal schooling, wearing size 4 pants, emotionally fragile, no English…the list goes on).  Anyway, I got no clear answer, so when I took him to school the Monday before Thanksgiving,  I had him in a stroller.  I hadn’t picked up a wheel chair yet, so it was that or carry him.  Also, luckily for all of us, he was clutching a teddy bear that Reilly had given him at some point.  It was a helpful visual aide.  They assigned him to Kindergarten. 

I requested a certain teacher and teacher’s aide that I love and they kindly put Ruslan with them.   We found his room and had a short visit.  This is where my conservative insistence on American Exceptionalism was again confirmed.  Over the course of an hour visit, a whole host of specialists in the school came to visit Ruslan, offer their help and make plans for him.  Besides the teachers who were great with him, there was a Special Ed teacher from down the hall, a few of her assistants and the school OT.  They were all over him.   He would have gotten equal love and attention in Ukraine, but it would have ended there.  These women were making plans for my boys life, and they are good plans.  They were incredible, assessing his ability, figuring out how to accommodate him in  the classroom, giving me suggestions for specialists and equipment etc. etc., all with the full belief that he would grow up to be a productive taxpayer just like the rest of us.  It was Christmas for the mom that morning. 

We made a few more short visits and yesterday was our IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting.  You would not believe how many people were in this meeting.  I wasn’t sure whether to be grateful that all this help was available or annoyed at all the questionable tax dollars that were represented in the room.  Besides the principal, assistant principal, guidance counselor, and teacher, there was the Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Spec Ed Teacher, Gifted and not-so Gifted Specialist (I think that was his title), some-other-woman–with-a-nebulous-title-and-I’m-still-not-sure-what-she-does, and apparently, some were absent (ESL, PT, Transportation guy?) and will make it to the next meeting.  So, in all there were ten of us in the room trying to figure out how to help my boy reach his full potential.  This is the POLAR OPPOSITE of sending a child like Ruslan to an institution and feeding him on 16 cents a day. 

In the end, we decided to wait and see how Ruslan does in school before making any permanent decisions.  Today (Wednesday, December 01, 2010), he will go to school from 8 to 11, tomorrow from 8 to 1, and Friday the full day.  He will be shadowed by a Spec Ed teacher the whole time and next week, he will have someone assigned to him from 8 to 1 all week.  I’m not sure this is totally necessary.  I don’t give him that much attention at home, and I kind of want him to be as independent as possible, but it seemed stupid to object, so I decided to go with it for a while.  Really, I think the main issue was the bathroom.  The teacher was just not comfortable with him combat crawling on the bathroom floor.    I wanted to point out that the toilet seat was probably at least as dirty as the floor (plus, on Myth Busters one time, they did a study on whether there was more e-coli on toothbrushes kept in the kitchen or the bathroom, but at the end of the study, they BOTH had comparable amounts of e-coli.  Disgusting, but true.)  …so,  why worry?, but I let it go.

Next:  The wheelchair.  At that first visit, I met the school OT.  She is a net-worker.  I love people like her.  She gave me a whole host of numbers to call to get Ruslan started on services.  Sadly, most of them will not pan out for a few weeks.  The PT and OT will not see him without a doctor’s referral, and my doctor will not see him until December 7 (first opening for new patients).  There is also an adoption clinic at UVA (University of Virginia) that I was hoping to get him into soon, but they will not see him until their next clinic on January 11.   The clinic is great because they assemble a whole  host of specialists that can evaluate the child all at once.  I am  not sure if I will take Ruslan, since by the time the clinic occurs, he will have seen everyone, but it is a great resource.  I took Sharon when she first came and I will take Roman when he comes.  Anyway, most of the therapy is at a standstill until the doctor can see him, give him a diagnosis and refer him to the others.

But, the wheelchair guy said to come on in and that  he will just charge me after he gets the physician’s referral.   I love that!  So, we went down and got Ruslan fitted with an old cast off from another child.  Since this is just a temporary measure for school, no one was too picky about a perfect fit.  He loved it at first, but then he decided he’d rather combat crawl and he cast it aside.  It must be somewhat fun to ride because kids fought over the thing so much that I left it at school yesterday and there it will live until I return it.   It’s really too big to have in the house anyway. 

Finally:  The Dentist.  This is the one doctor who can see Ruslan right away.  His teeth are in pretty bad shape.  The upshot is that they are going to put him under general anesthesia and take care of the problems all at once.  I am sure this will be better than several painful visits, but the anesthesiologist fee is $600 (cash, by the way.  He doesn’t take credit card or checks.   I suspect a cartel in involved in this somewhere.)  and it’s not covered by insurance.  OUUUUUCH…again. 

So, that is the summary.  For the most part, life is going on as normal for everyone else, except that I’m a little further behind in homeschooling my boys than I want to be.  Now that Ruslan will be in school, we should catch up OK.