Two Appointments, Two Disappointments

Vitals:  We finally had our court for Roman, which I'll get to tomorrow.  We realized, since we hit another delay that we were likely to have to change our tickets again.  So, we made an executive decision and decided to take the kids home and send one of us back for the last child in December.  Apparently, after a month, family separation is now LESS evil than bad food on the Deaton Disenchantment Scale. 

Details:  So we chose Roman at the SDA on Thursday, October 7, and we met him on Monday, October 11.  At the most, it was supposed to take two weeks to get a court date.  But, Roman had a surprise sibling (a 16 year old brother), and it took an extra week to separate them.  Then, a Very Important Man insisted on meeting us, a nine day delay.  Then the judge insisted that Oleg pre-file some papers that normally are due later in the process, another delay.  Then, she made us wait because her schedule was so packed she just couldn't fit us in.  Finally, after five weeks, we got our court appointment on Tuesday, November 9, day 45.

That morning, we got the kids up and dressed.  We fed them a good breakfast.  We made sure the Nintendo DSs were charged and they all had their games.  We gave them the “You Must Behave” speech.  We packed up Ruslan’s stroller, snacks, toys and water.  We divided the family among two separate taxi’s and we headed to court. 

Often when we take a taxi here, I get the feeling that I am being taken to a junkyard and about to be mugged and shot. How can it be that in the middle of a national capital there are so many worn down neighborhoods that you get the feeling you are in a never-ending south-side Chicago?  We drove through some of the nastiest looking neighborhoods I have ever seen.  I am sure that at one point we passed a prison (high cement fence, barbed wire, guard towers with armored guards) nestled comfortably right in among the public housing.  A few more turns and we hit what looked like suburbia—homes, rather than apartments, but with no landscaping, high fences around each house, and that crumbling, neglected  look that is so popular here.  I started to feel more comfortable.  Then we passed a few car-repair businesses, then some more dissolving buildings, then a few abandoned warehouses.  Have I mentioned that there is No Zoning here?  Just as I was about to tell Reilly, “If he pulls over into a neglected parking lot, next to a rundown building, and motions for us to get out, I want you to RUN,”  he pulled into a neglected parking lot, next to a rundown building and motioned for us to get out.  Luckily, Bill’s cab was in the same parking lot, so I knew we were at least about to die together.  The next thing I saw was Nadya running out of the building, over to Bill’s cab.  As it turns out, we were at the court. 

We were hurried inside because we were a few minutes late and apparently, the judge had told Nadya that her schedule was very tight and if we were late, she would re-schedule the whole thing.  So, we hustled inside, up some concrete stairs and into a central hallway just outside her office.  There we saw the director of Roman’s orphanage and the social worker for the region who approved us a month ago.  We greeted them, mentioned how relieved we were to have made it on time, took off our coats and waited expectantly to be called into the judge’s office any minute. 

….after a while, it became apparent that “any minute” really meant ANY minute.  After 15 minutes, we found the kids some benches and told them to get out their DS games.  After 30 minutes, I started walking around with Ruslan.  After 45 minutes, Nadya got out her computer and started working on another families documents, after an hour I made a mental note to pack some Benadryl in our backpacks whenever we go ANYWHERE.  After 90 minutes, we were told to come into the court.

The court was really the judges office.  I’d say it was a 6 x 12 foot room, with the judges desk, two assistant’s desks and four chairs.  The seven in our family, plus Nadya, the Orphanage Director and the Social Worker all crowded in.  Bill noticed the judge pulling out her calendar and talking to Nadya right away.  Apparently, a prosecutor was also supposed to be present at the court, but he hadn’t shown up today. We would have to re-schedule. 

You are not going to believe this but, despite the judges PACKED schedule, she was available the next day at 9am. 

We went home to take a nap.  We got the kids lunch, told them they had some TV time before school and just as we were about to lay down, Nadya called. 

Here is the story of Ruslan (first child).  So we chose Ruslan at the SDA on Monday, September 27, and we met him on Wednesday, September 29.  At the most, it was supposed to take two weeks to get a court date.  But, Ruslan had a surprise sibling (a 10 year old sister), and it took and extra week to separate them.  Then, there were some delays with our paperwork and we finally got a court appointment after four weeks on October 22.  After the mandatory ten day wait, we got him on November 1.   We were supposed to get his birth certificate two days later, but sadly, the vital records office LOST the book that had his birth record (I am not making this up) then, the vital records office wanted some special papers from Nadya, then, they decided they wanted us to come sign for the birth certificate.  So, as of November 9, (day 45) we still did not have a birth certificate for Ruslan.  Nadya called because she wanted us to come to the vital records office to sign for the birth certificate. 

We made an executive decision and decided, for the first time, to leave the kids alone in the apartment.  I have to say, they get along really well, otherwise we never would have tried it.  We had already dragged them across town once that day and all the double taxi’s and waiting was getting old for all of us.  Our building has two full time security guards (one at the front door and one at the parking garage) our floor only has one other couple living on it, so the hall is usually totally empty, and our door is solid metal with a huge lock on it.  We were more worried about dangers from the inside (infighting among the natives) than from the outside, but we could always employ the ultimate punishment (taking away TV) if things got bad.

Bill and I packed Ruslan for the second time and took a cab across town.  Have I mentioned that there is no zoning here?  The vital records office is in a cluster of apartment buildings with a few overgrown playgrounds nearby, a parking lot that doubles as a drive-way and a cleverly hidden front door.  We took Ruslan out of the cab and started looking for the office.  I called Nadya, but she didn’t pick up. We looked around some more and I started wondering  if we were in the wrong place and how far was it to a main road so we could find another cab?  Then I started wondering, if we can’t find a cab, how will be get home and more importantly how cold does it get here at night?

SO, to make a long (very long) story short, we finally found the door, found Nadya, and after about an hour we found out that the vital records office would not give us the birth certificate today because they wanted Nadya to go back to Vorzel to have all the papers bound and stamped with a certain seal to show they were authentic.  We went home empty handed for the second time that day.

On a bright note, in an attempt to help Ruslan feel more at home, I made borscht for supper.  I thought, typical Ukranian food, familiar taste, he should like it!  Well, we sat down to dinner and he started whimpering as soon as he saw it.  He whimpered all through prayer, all through the ritual drinking of the milk, and then launched into a full blown wail when I set the bowl down in front of him. I could tell he was faking it, so I started mimicking him, whimpering and nodding my head, “no, no” just like him.  This worked.  He stopped, then smiled and finally took up his spoon and ate the soup.  I wouldn’t say he liked it, but he got it down without the typical melt down and he got dessert. 

And there was evening and there was morning, the 45th day.