Meet Roman and Bill Leaves for the States

Right.... I know I'm behind.  It's just that if I don't make school the first priority, it won't get done.

So, Monday morning (11 October) we drove to see a social worker somewhere in south Kiev.  Thank goodness I am not doing this alone.  We all crowded into her tiny office (eight of us) and she asked us, "why do  you want to adopt a handicapped child?"  This seems like an easy, logical, rational question under the circumstances, but when you are in a foreign country, crowded into a small room, trying to focus your laser eyes in four different directions so you can make sure your kids are behaving, while still smiling sweetly for the audience, it's a real stumper!! Nadya, the interpreter, was looking at me, but all I could think to say was, "Well, we had thought about buying a boat instead but..."  So, I just stood there with my mouth half open (I was astute enough to know that was a bad answer) wondering if anything ELSE might pop into my head...  LUCKILY, Bill was in the room and HE said, "Well, we have room in our house and room in our hearts, so it just seems like the right thing to do."    Thank goodness he was there.  I mean, yeah, I would have come up with something like that...eventually (the boat was just in the way at that moment).  In the end, I kept my mouth shut the whole time and THAT meeting went well.

Then we drove about 45 minutes to Boyarka to meet the boys.  Since Ruslan can not walk, we were looking for a boy who would not be a huge handful--knowing that we will need to give a disproportionate amount of time and attention to Ruslan--we were hoping to find a child who could take care of his basic needs, wasn't hyper, could follow simple directions and could walk.  There was one boy, "sullivan" on Reeces Rainbow who cannot walk, but his bio was so adoring we had considered him anyway.  He happened to be in the same orphanage as boy #2, Roman, who is not on Reeces Rainbow and was sort of a surprise pull from the huge pile of heartbreaking biographies.  Roman was listed as having a "nervous disorder," which wasn't really explained any more than that. We didn't know if that meant emotional nerves or physical nerves.  So, we asked for more information--I think that was last Thursday we saw the bio--and on Friday, Nadya had called me and said that "he had a very good report from the orphanage."

That is about all we had to go on.  We didn't know which child they were going to bring first.  It was very difficult that morning, mostly because I was worried that we would have to reject a child, which is a really hard thing to do.   Once we got to the orphanage, they had us wait in a 'meeting room' with our four kids, Nadya and Oleg.  That wait got longer and longer and Bill and I got more and more antsy.  We finally were talking in a corner for the thousandth time and Bill just said, "I just hope it's clear one way or the other."  So, that was our prayer.  At least 30 minutes later, they finally brought Roman into the room.

He is small for his age and looked very handsome in a bright sweater and pressed clothes.  He was holding the caregiver's hand and walks with a slight gait. He smiled and sat right down on the floor in the middle of the kids.  He started playing quietly with puzzles and some toy animals and rings. I asked Nadya if he knew any of his colors.  He didn't know green, or blue, but he knew white.  He called a giraffe a 'horse' and a flamingo a 'chicken' then he called a zebra a 'horse' again--which I thought was pretty darn good, considering....  He had sat down next to Reilly and in five minutes time, he was laying sideways with his head in her lap, holding up things for her to look at and identify.  He used his right hand about 80% of the time, but he could use his left if he wanted to. It is a little contracted, but he seems able to use it. He spoke quietly, he smiled non-stop and he gave Nadya good eye contact and they had good communication. 

Anyway, after five minutes Nadya asked if we wanted him and Bill cryptically said, "well, it's clear to me."  Yeah, it was clear to me too, but I wasn't sure if HIS clear was also MY clear.  So, I had to ask, "clear Yes or clear No?"  Thank God, it was clear Yes.  What a relief!  Honestly, there was nothing not to like.  He is adorable, absolutely charming. 

One millisecond after the "clear yes," the room was all activity.  Bill took ONE good picture and I swear they whisked him out of there 30 seconds later and it was non-stop the rest of the day. In retrospect, I think it was because all the sudden, Oleg and Nadya had a TON of work on their plate and realized we had better get moving.  Bill was leaving that night, so we had to get to the notary that afternoon to get things started with the paperwork.

As we were putting on our shoes, a woman opened the door and spoke to Nadya.  She was clearly checking us out.  Nadya said she asked if we would give Roman lots of hugs and kisses because he loves hugs and kisses. I answered that of course, we plan to smother him with affection.  She told Nadya to tell us again that Roman loves to be hugged and kissed and that he loves people who hug and kiss him.  She sort of lingered in the doorway.like she wanted to say more and then she finally left. I smiled, but, inside, my heart was just breaking for her.  I can't imagine, raising an orphan child and then having to hand them off to total strangers.  What agony!  I will have to find her and get her address....I wish I spoke Ukrainian!

So, we left there shortly after, drove back to Kiev and grabbed lunch while Nadya submitted some papers for us at the notary.  After lunch, we went to the notary ourselves and signed some papers.  Nadya is so good about explaining what all the papers are for, but I can't help laughing.  I'm tempted to point out that it's hardly necessary to explain.  She could tell us anything and we would never know the difference.  We have no choice but to trust her.  It's all in Ukrainian.  What difference is an explanation?  However, I'm not sure she sees the humor in this.  I think it's hilarious. 

We walked around downtown a little after that.  We saw a huge grocery in what used to be a train station or something. We checked out an underground mall (also huge) got lost twice, got directions from a kindly American who left before we could properly thank her (if only I believed in guardian angels) and got home in time for dinner.  Paul and I went grocery shopping on the way home.  We bought three new kinds of Mystery Meat for this week and three new Mystery Breads.  One was a pastry that I thought was fruit filled, but it was filled with fried onion (not bad really).  The other was a cake filled with apple. Together in the bag, they smelled just like Mrs. Olds' house (ancient lady who used to be our neighbor). Her house always smelled like musty apples and onions. 

So, the rest of Monday night, we packed Bill up and he left Tuesday morning around 3am.

Today, Tuesday October 12, we stayed home and caught up on school.  We got done around 2pm and went to a nearby park. The kids played on some KILLER play equipment.  It's so fun to be in a country with no regard for liability.  The slides were LONG and STEEP.  They had a blast. I'll have to get a picture, but I'd say the one slide is about an 80 degree angle at one point.  Kids would climb up and just sit on the top, waiting for the nerve to go down.  It is straight down!  About 4:00, they went to another part of the park and made a huge leaf pile.  There were small piles all over and they spend about 20 minutes gathering them into one big pile.

While they were playing, a lady stopped by who heard us speak English.  She just moved here and her husband works for the American Embassy.  She lived here four years ago and was just returning.  She was full of information about where to go and what to do here.  What a God send!  The rest of the evening was quiet.  Bill landed safely in VA about 8pm (our time), we had movie night (Ferris Bueller) and went to bed.

Oh, I almost forgot, Nadya called and they are making good progress on our papers.  She and Oleg had been worried that we would need an entirely new dossier, but luckily one of the judges agreed to accept a photo copy (phew!).  They have a meeting tomorrow (10-13) and hope (HOPE) to have our court for Ruslan on the 20th.  That is only one though. We still need a date for Roman.  If it happens quickly, we may go home during the ten day wait, and just one of us return for the boys. But if it takes a while and the ten day wait is cut to say, five, we may all stay here the whole time.  I lean one way in the morning and another way at night.  Pray that it is clear!